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[24 Nov 2005|10:20am] |
i'm gonna start doing eljay again. i miss it.
<333
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[30 Jun 2005|06:19pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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now bon jovi in my head =] |
] |
1. You've ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-Sitters Club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.
8. Two words: M.C. Hammer
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."
12. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You played the game "MASH".
17. You wore a Jordache Jean jacket and you were proud of it.
18. L.A. Gear
19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.
20. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.
21. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF."
22. You wanted to be a Goonie.
23. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
24. You wore flourescent clothing.
25. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
26. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
27. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence.
29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up.
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
33. You owned a pair of jelly sandals.
34. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip 'n' Slide.
38. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.
40. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "totally awesome."
41. You remember Popples.
42. "Don't worry, be happy."
43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights.
44. You wore socks scrunched down.
45. "Miss MARY MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players. VS ghetto blasta!
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
48. You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"
49. You remember watching Rainbow Brite and My Little Ponies.
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac. And his penchant for snacking on cats.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on Saved By the Bell," the ORIGINAL class.
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi.
55. You played and or collected "Pogs".
56. You used to pretend that you could transform into a Power Ranger.
that was fun<3i love the 90's
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[26 Jun 2005|12:14am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the click five |
] |
yeah so i haven't updated in a long time. alot has happened but i'm not
in the mood to type it all out. school out. thank god. and life's
really really good. i'm happy, i'm making money, i have the best
friends in the world. nothing can go wrong. well thats not true, *knock
on wood*
so yeah, i was talking to thom and we were talking about getting
married (in general) and falling in love, and how terrible it would be
to not fall in love. that's my biggest fear. not falling in love. thats
like my life plan, and if that doesn't work out, then what will? and
sometimes i feel like i never will. i know i'm not alone, because there
are so many people who love me and care about me, but sometimes i feel
like i never will find that someone. and i really hope thats not true,
because i will be so sad if i don't get a wedding and i dont find that
one person who loves me unconditionally as much as i love them. i'll be
so sad if i don't get to raise a family and be a mom. i'd die if i
don't get to be a mom.
so i can't think about this anymore because that's just too horrible of
a though. i'll update at a later point. i don't know when. i'm pretty
busy and this, as i remember, is kinda a pain in the butt to update
because it's jsut kinda pointless. except i do feel a little better
getting that out, again.
<3
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| it's my best friends birthday. weeeee |
[27 Apr 2005|05:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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wonderwall- oasis |
] |
happy
birthday rebecca jennifer. i love you more than i could ever say. you
are my best friend. i would not be the person i am today if i didn't
know you. you are amazing and i hope you have the best sweet sixteenth
birthday of all time. i love you so much<3
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[26 Apr 2005|09:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 eh |
] |
| [ |
music |
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wicked |
] |
wow i haven't written in this thing in a very long time.
not alot has happened. well actually alot. alot. alot. alot. but i dont wanna talk about it. haha
so i'm getting my lisence really soon. thats exciting. wee!
oh, and ya know what i just realized. i was thinking about this
randomly. you know when you're with a friend and then someone else
comes up to you and your friend seems like they would rather talk to
them? like if someone better comes along, they'll like leave you in a
second? i just realized that i do not have one friend who ISN'T like
that. isn't that terrible? not one of my friends wouldnt do that. and
i've experienced most of them do it. man. it's a really sucky feeling.
wow. okay, i should stop thinking about that. this is exactly why i
dont update anymore. because i type out everything thats wrong, and
then i realize how much everything sucks, and i feel worse. oh well.
i made a promise to myself today that i'm not gonna tell my problems to
anyone anymore. i'm not gonna tell people what's wrong and stuff.
because from what i've experienced this like month, nothing good comes
from telling people your problems and secrets. nothing. so i'm gonna
stop.
alright, that's it for now.
<3
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[22 Mar 2005|11:16pm] |
i love jackie louise daur<3how cute are we?
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| i cant see the stars from way down here.. |
[22 Mar 2005|10:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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i don't know. i'm so messed up |
] |
| [ |
music |
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switchfoot, but i have lindsay stuck in my head |
] |
i feel so like separated and out of it. bleh. i havent updated this thing in like a zillion years. who cares.
so i came home early from school today because it felt like my insides were exploding. little note, not something anyone every wants to experience.
i miss my friends. i dont know why, but i miss them. i miss renee. i miss joanna. i miss sam. i miss kerry. i miss b.
i feel like i haven't seen them, or actually had a real conversation
with them in ages and that makes me really sad. like beyond belief. i
feel like i have nothing to fall back on with out them and i'm falling
fast, let me tell you.
so just fyi, i'm failing my behind out of school. i have a 46.5 in
english, then bombed the test. i was doing fairly well in chemistry.
keepin it real with a whoppin 87 then i bombed the test i took
yesterday after school. and i was just kinda like, oh who cares about
grades, until sunday night, when matt was driving me home and i told
him nonchalantly about my failing and he got all serious and he's
like, sara you're failing? what's going on? and that's when it kinda
hit me. what is going on? i've never failed a class in my life. never.
why not? sophomore english? come on. give me a break. and not just
failing, but a flippin 46.5 percent. i don't know what's going on and i
don't know how to fix it. i'm stuck. i'm stuck between a rock and a
hard place. because it's not like i need help in english. it's reading
and writing responses, which i know how to do, i just don't? i guess.
who knows. i'm in this bad habit of not doing my work. and i need to
fix it. because i don't want to have that feeling again when matt said
that to me. because it killed me. it killed me.
and i'm so tired of living for
the kind of love that only lasts for a while
the pain, the shame
it tears me up inside.
i feel like i'm missing something. i don't know what. i think i
might know but i'm just praying that it's not that, because i don't
think i'm going to be getting that for a while. =\
live like it's the last moon rising
scream just like noones there
loose all of my defenses
hold you touch you love you
like it's the very last moment in time. <3
that's my motto.
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[09 Mar 2005|07:04pm] |
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mood |
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 my mom is turning into hitler. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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lillix |
] |
i said goodbye, but it doesnt mean you're gone to me. i'll still think about you all the time. you're like a bad habit.
i thought that this picture was kinda scary, so why not post it.. here ya go..
i'm not sorry.
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[06 Mar 2005|10:34pm] |
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mood |
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 no complains here |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my world:avril |
] |
i had a really good day today. i have nothing to complain about. i did
my makeup at like, what, 10 30, just to see what it would look like. i
followed instructions in seventeen and this is what came of it. it's
cool. i'd wear it out. but thats because i'm ridiculously weird. lol
<3
you're everything i want, you're everything i need....
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| i wish i could see you now |
[27 Feb 2005|10:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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all mixed up |
] |
| [ |
music |
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fefe dobson. i know i havent listened to her in ages <3 |
] |
today at church a woman i know came up to me and said....
sara, i just wanted to tell you that you are absolutely beautiful,
you're such a beautiful girl and you have such an inner glow and it
just makes me happy looking at you. you just light up a room. your so
smiley and happy. you're just beautiful. you have this presence about
you that just give off happiness. i just wanted to let you know.
can you get a more wonderful compliment. after that i couldnt stop
smiling and then me and joanna dancing around the church for 45 minutes
with christine and lauren. that was the most fun i've had in a while.
do you ever feel like your pulling so hard for something and you know
it's never going to happen but the voice in the back of your head is
just saying, dont give up, it's gonna pay off soon. i have. and i dont
feel like it's ever going to actually pay off. i wanna give up but i
just want this so bad. i know it'll never happen, but like that quote
in sophias profile..
"if you can't get him out of your head, maybe he's supposed to be there"
i dont know what to think or what to do. i know noone can really help me, but i'm just putting my feelings in here.
i was thinking about this and i related my situation to something we
learned in psych. like when people hear music in scary movies and
they're scared, and then they hear the music somewhere else not in any
reference to the movie, they still get scared because the connect the
music with the movie. thats kinda how i feel. when i hear all these
songs i think of him and i can't like enjoy them anymore. because it
like hurts. i hate this. i need to get this out of my head. i need to
leave this in the past and leave it in fantasy land. wow. i have some
growing up to do.
i highlighted my hair. i like it. it's lighter than my ugly pee hair.
people have been telling me it looks darker but who cares about them.
just kidding. i like it. thats all the counts right? yea. here a
picta. 
so this vacation has been enjoyable. i didnt do like ALOT, but i really had fun. lets see, what did i do?
sunday
church- made a cake for cate- pizza with joanna and thom at modern-
youth group- saw hitch with joanna and thom- slept over joannas.
monday
went home from joannas- hung out around the house ( i did alot
of that this week)- went to joyces wake =[- went shopping with b in new
haven and bought pretty shoes
tuesday
slept in too late to go to joyces funeral =[- went to carries to clean
her house to make money to get my hair done- driving school- watched tv
wednesday
went to the spa with my mom and got an hour massage and got my
eyelashes died black- went out to a book store with my mom and got a
book- went out to this cute mexican place called su casa and saw this
girl who looked scarily like paris hilton but on like drugs- slept over
at the beautiful spa.
thursday
woke up- went to eat breakfast in the breakfast nook =]- packed up our
room- i drove around branford for a while- came home and hung out- went
to driving school- joanna came over after work and brought me wendys
and we watched our taped project runway finale- she slept over.
friday
woke up- watched tv- went to carries to get my hair done! =]- got my
hair done and we went to this cute pizza place for lunch after- then
lisa came and picked me up and we almost died in a car accident. well
not died but i could have gotten seriously hurt but i didnt and it's
all good- went to christinas for dinner- vicki picked us up and we
moved furniture around and she gave us money towards the dominican
republic trip this summer- went back to christinas and watched some tv-
came home and hung out- went to bed. best part of everyday
saturday
i did absolutely nothing until around 5- christine came over- we
ordered salads from different places- haha- then we watched napoleon
dynomite and laughed uncontrollably- i realized that i love christine
with all my heart because she makes me smile more than anyone ever-
christiine went home around 10ish i think- i went to bedd =]
today
woke up- went to church- we had to stay there forever because usually
me and joanna leave right away but she didnt have a car since it died
on friday with me in it, so we stayed there til like 2- went out to
lunch with our families and a whole bunch of people- went to munsons
and got chocolate. well like 2 pieces- came back here and kaylyn came
over- we played scene it, just he 3 of us- then we watched napoleon
dynomite again. its the love of my life- then we had dinner- then i
left for youth group and had fun there- came home and did my homework-
now i'm tired and about to go to bed.
goodnight world. all my love.
i wish i could see you now
and know how you feel
i wish you could see me
and know how i feel
i feel like i'm talking to a wall when i talk to you
like nothing i say gets through
when i talk to you i want to cry and tell you all my troubles
but then your unresponsive nature makes me stop
and realize it's never going to happen
i need you like the rain
come to me and sing again
i love you, you are my hope
you love my as your own
you are beautiful
absolutely beautiful
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[22 Feb 2005|08:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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simple plan in my head. shut up. |
] |
i know this is really late but that's just how i am! these are pictures
from the switchfoot show at the webster in december! <3
( pictaaaaas <3 )
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[20 Feb 2005|12:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silence |
] |
i think i just figured out one thing i want in my life. i want to have
an impact on somebody. like.. i want someone to see me or someone to
talk to me and be like, wow, i really want to talk to her again or wow,
i want to go meet her. or something like that. in my life that person
has always been me. i'll see someone and be like i wanna meet them or
talk to them, but that's never happened to me. that's something i want
out of life. like this whole ****** thing. i tracked him down and am
talking to him now. i want someone to do that for me. that would be
amazing. i want someone to get out of bed in the morning and think,
wow, i really wanna talk to or hang out with sara today. i know this
sounds so like, i dont know, self absorbed or superficial, but eh, if
you think that then stop wasting your time reading this.
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[19 Feb 2005|08:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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avril |
] |
i love this girl with all my heart and soul, and i'm going to see her
in beachwood new jersey on march 18 through the 21st. i miss her like
crazy. my beautiful miss chelsea.
what a looker ;o)
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[18 Feb 2005|04:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the starting line. the best of me. |
] |
i'm in such a bad mood it's ridiculous. i want to cry. but i can't. my
hearts sunk. i just want to hide in my bed and never come out until..
well never.
i feel like a failure. i feel like i'm not worth anything and that i
don't have a purpose. i feel like i'm never going to fall in love.
everyone around me is either in love, falling in love, or breaking up.
i'm none of the above. i feel empty. i feel useless and that nothing
good with happen to me.
i'm not posting this to get pity. i'm just plainly stating it because
thats how i feel. i'm sorry if you don't like it and you think i'm
doing it for attention. that's not my problem now is it. bye
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[17 Feb 2005|03:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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at last- etta james |
] |
crap. this sucks majorly. i don't know what the eff i'm going to dooooooo. bleh. i feel like puking.
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[16 Feb 2005|10:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bad news overload |
] |
| [ |
music |
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star 99.9 |
] |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TORI! I LOVE YOU MUCHLY! <3
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| look out your window, my sunshines all around <3 |
[07 Feb 2005|05:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ashleeeee simpsooooon |
] |
today was really really bad. bleh. i almost threw up like 6 times and i
felt so alone. noones here! yeah. then i got home and watched some tv
show on mtv where the stupid blonde girl got to go to homecoming with
this really hot guy. yeah, not fair. then i came upstairs and b was
online and that totally made my day. i love her. i called dimatteos to
see whats going on with my application and they're like consulting now
and they'll call me soon. im really nervous i wont get it. i wanna be
like excited about it but then again i dont because if i get excited
and i dont get it i'll feel dumb. thats my day. i have to go set the
table for dinner. woop. i love you all. and im happy again. i know none
of you care, but i do =]
i wanna feel the warm breeze, sleep under a palmtree...
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| when the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore <3 |
[05 Feb 2005|11:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
either ashlee, my love mix, or kelly-the cd's i have in<3 |
] |
i've been listening to my love songs mix, and L-O-V-E is on it and that song makes me really happy. i can't stop smiling when it's playing. =].
todays my mom's birthday. it was fun. my 'uncle' ron came over ( he's a
really good family friend) and we had chinese like she wanted and then
we played this funny jepardy (sp?) game. i got one question that i had
no idea what the answer was, but the question was like what country
produces the most green house gases? and i passed but ron was like oh i
know! china! china has a lotta polution! he thought that green house
gases was the game thing as air polution. i guess that was only funny
when we were sitting there. i just wasted my time. awesome.
alright, well today was boring other then our little 'party'. i'm like
not in a good mood, but not in a terrible mood. i'm just kinda bleh. i
feel like i'm kinda like 'loosing' my friendships. i dont know how to
explain it. i dont think i can explain it, so i wont waste my time
again. i just feel lonely and tired of trying so hard.
the whole bree thing was a bust. and now, i just like don't know what
to do with myself. grr. my heart's like sunken. it's a sucky feeling.
i hate driving school. i'm not gonna get the car i want, i dont think.
i wish i was someone else. i wish i lived somewhere else. i wish i had a different life. that would be nice. really nice.
tomarrows my brothers birthday, and we're going out after church with
my gramma and the palmssss. hopefully that will be fun. and i'm looking
forward to the superbowl party at my christines house <3.
is it bad that i wanna cry all the time? i hate this. i was so happy. i
was so content. then i had to go on that flipping retreat up in new
hampshire and now it feels like nothings right.
i feel like i always have to contain how i feel because people are so wrapped up in their
own lives to talk to me about mine. like i'm always the one to listen,
but i can never talk. i have certain friends like that i and i love
istening to they're problems, but once in a while, like now, i have
problems too, and when i start talking, they interupt with something
about them. it drives me crazy. and it's not all my friends. just a
handful. but they're my good friends. it's annoying and it hurts like
hell that they cant keep quiet and listen to me talk for like 10
minutes, and care. christina james is the love of my life and she
always listens to me, and helps me too. i love her to death. she's the
perfect friend. i know she won't read this, but that's okay. she doesnt
need to. she knows i love her.
i really wanna like 'repair' a friendship with an old friend but i
really don't know how to go about it. people tell me to just go up to
them and break the ice, but how weird would that be? just going up to
them and being like hey i havent talked to you in like 2 years! whats
up?. like thats just too weird for me. i dont really have any
alternitives though. i'm not very good in this catergory. hmm. oh well.
i guess the less friends, the less drama. it's all good.
i don't know what else to say. i'm helping kate come up with an email
address because spposedly im good at that kinda thhing? ok! i'm glad
some one thinks im good for something! i'm gonna go. if you read this,
i'm sorry. <3
and i'm staring out my window, wondering what it is i should have said. </3
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[04 Feb 2005|10:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ashlee |
] |
 Independent
and adventurous. You don't want much; just to break out of the guilded
cage society has put you in and experience life to the fullest.
Following orders isn't really one of your strong points, and you would
rather live a life of poverty than being forced into something that you
hate. Which Disney Princess Are You?
i like quizzes. i'm really stressed/upset right now and i need to
relax. bleh. i feel completely useless and like such a bad friend. and
selfish and dumb. i could go on, but i won't. ugh, i really hate this,
i really really really do.
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[02 Feb 2005|04:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
some alicia keys remix that i'm subconsciously listening to |
] |
this makes me happy<3
i'm so excited that midterms are over. it's such a relief. now that i
have most of my grades back and i'm satisfied with them, it's all good
until CAPT's roll around in april. but i dont want to think about that.
life's been pretty good lately. i've really been enjoying myself. i'm
not upset or sad about anything. i've been in a good mood like almost
all the time. i love life<3 it's fun. hahaha. i'm excited for
tonight. project runways on and joannas gonna come over and watch it. i
love that show so much, it's addicting. but the thing im most excited
about in the world right now, is going to the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC!! i'm
going this summer with my youth group and people from new york. i'm so
excited. it's gonna be amazing. we're staying at some nice hotel in the
capital city? i dont know if it's the capital, but it's some nice city.
it's going to be beautiful. i can't wait. =] ::sigh:: so yeah, i've
been getting myself siked up for that. i really need a job though. i
applied around, but noones called yet. haha it's only been like 2 days,
but whatever. i'm impatient when it comes to money.
katie's in flordia, and sam and christine and the entire dance team are
going to flordia. man did i join the wrong clubs this year. haha. it's
all good though because chris is bringing me back a cinderella figurine
and that makes me so incredibly happy. i love cinderella♥ ah
well. life's good. and i love you all.
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live_l0ve_learn's journal
loved
out of my minddd
